IS IT ME?

   When I lived with a family in Maryland getting extensive acupuncture, the acupuncturist wanted me to stop using my crutch.  I was on two crutches and then down to one.  It has a handle and wraps around my forearm.  I was afraid I would fall if I didn’t use it and the mother in this family said, “Just carry it when you walk and if you think you are about to fall, then use it….”  When I needed a car, it was obvious I needed hand controls as I don’t have complete feeling in my feet and they just don’t work.  I was in a play with an engineering  student and he said that all I needed to do was Velcro my foot to the pedal so it wouldn’t fall off, and then, when I needed to brake, just break loose of the Velcro and put my foot on the brake.................When I was hired to do a voice over 3 hours away, a friend drove me as the pain I endured driving was overwhelming.  My neighbor felt this was silly and said next time to drive myself and when the pain got bad to pull off to the side of the road, rest a little, and then drive some more.                                                                                                                                                                                                                             So, let me get this straight.  I am to walk around carrying my crutch, but don't use it, unless I think I'm about to fall... then as I trip or slip, I am to somehow maneuver the crutch I am carrying to break this fall... this is almost impossible to think about because…........I’M FALLING!!    The Velcro thing may work, but only if I brake one time each trip.  When I drive,     ............ and it’s just me, I brake more than once going from point A to point B.  Maybe, if I mapped out my trips to the grocery store more effectively, I could find a route where there are no stop signs, lights, people or OTHER CARS Mr. Engineer!!!    When I drive ANYWHERE, and I feel that my body is fading, pulling off to the side of the road, doesn’t work.  I would have to pull off every half hour and rest for 1 hour… A 3 hour trip would only take me about 9 hours.   I figure while I'm at it, why don't I just lay on the ground first before I fall, crash my car into a stop sign because my foot is stuck to the friggin gas pedal and start driving to my next gig now even though I don't have one so I have time to  REST ON THE WAY THERE!!!!!