HERBAL GRATITUDE

Herbal gratitude

by Chris Vartorella on Thursday, January 20, 2011 

      A few months after my mother died… a friend asked me to come to a meeting.  It was in a hotel and it was some multi-level  business selling vitamins and herbs.  She had talked to me about this company and how the CEO swore that this “stuff” had healed him of all kinds of illnesses so he made it his business.  I was skeptical but went… Sitting there listening to all the testimonies made my body hurt so bad…I had broken my back 17 years earlier and was always in a great deal of pain. So I went out in the hall and stretched and rested.  My friend came out and her friend came out and both agreed that the calcium they were selling and another herb would help and I didn’t have to buy them, but just try them that night.. and I did.. I came home and a pain in my stomach started and increased until I crawled to the bathroom..I could not believe I had taken something from people who were not health professionals but sales people.  I couldn’t tell if I was going to throw up or what but the pain increased.  I curled up on the floor and  breathed deeply and I kept breathing.  I thought of the last seventeen years and all the physical problems I have had.  I thought of the first back surgery and then the second.  The infections that were non stop…      Then I thought of the doctors, friends and family that told me I wasn’t that bad and how I could do much more than I was doing.   I thought …” I just don’t want my life anymore.”  A small voice in my head said, “Then who’s life do you want?”  I kept breathing deeply and thought about it..I thought of every person I had ever known in my life and asked myself, “Do I want her life?”  “Do I want his?”  Everyone I thought of had some obstacle that seemed so awful to me.  People that were young and healthy.  I was so envious of them before, but this night I wasn’t.  This went on for a long time… Finally…. After a few hours… I said, “I just want this life.  Mine.”  And the pain left.  I went to bed and slept with great relief and gratitude.