I SEE YOU

        My friend, Lori Cannon has a blog.  I read it at times.  She is very funny, but in her bio she says, "breast cancer survivor", Then says, "Who isn't?"  I laughed so hard when I read this.  I thought about how my identity was wrapped up in my 20's in breaking my back and learning to walk again.  Then the novelty wore off, as I was so sick all the time with one infection or another.  Then it was wrapped up in being chronically ill.  Now I am a "breast cancer survivor".  Part of the "club" that I never wanted to be a part of and yes the novelty has worn off.  It ain't that "fun" although I try to see the good side.  One of the good sides is that so many present the best part of themselves, and it's always in service.  People I never expected.  Even the frigging librarian I see once in a while called to ask what she could do for me.  In 1995, someone came over and saw my horribly messy place and said, "Now I see the real Chris."  Don't worry, I cleaned it up.  I was thinking, all these people coming out of the woodwork offering, prayers, meals, support.. what if that was the REAL them?  What if that is who they really are? 
   

RICK

  I am getting a drain taken out of my armpit today and getting the pathology report from the titty counsel.  Yes, I am excited to get this out of me. It hurts and bathing is difficult.  I was/am deeply indebted to my brother who came here from out of town and stayed over night at the hospital making sure I was ok after surgery.  It all was very easy, mostly because he made it easy.  I had friends and relatives there to support me as well.  When we got home, my brother, shopped, cooked, did laundry, cleaned up my place and made me laugh.  He checked the drain I had to make sure there was no infection.  One of my friends noticed how calm he was.  Others said he was pretty nervous in the waiting room.  When he left yesterday, I said, "Thank you isn't big enough."  How do you thank someone for doing so much? When he had his first child, my parents were still alive. My father, who did not pass out compliments very often said, "I don't know what your mother did raising Rick, but he is a wonderful father."  I would add, "And a wonderful brother."

THE BIG DAY

   I would love to tell you that I am all ready for this surgery tomorrow… but I’m not.  Well, I am ready, but I am scared… did I say scared…?  I mean petrified… I mean, I wish it was over…All the support in the world is wonderful and to tell you the truth, I do have all the support in the world. But in the end, it’s just you… and I am scared.