DANCING

      The grace of the standups was compelling and overwhelming. How could I possibly be a dancer with such amazing perfomers that had been doing this forever and yet at age 44, they let me in their company.  I felt exhilarated.  I was very new and very happy.
       I loved certain moves and at times felt like an ice skater especially when I figured out how to do a backwards turn in a circle moving one wheel.  When I had tapped danced before this for several years I was stationary.  I wanted to dance and I knew a little tap.  Even though I walked with braces on my legs and a crutch I remembered what a time step sounded like and shuffle ball change. If I could create the sound again maybe my feet and legs would follow.  But this was different.   I glided.  I had so much more speed.  Some children at a school we performed at asked why I was dancing in a wheelchair when  I could walk.  I worked hard to get out ofa wheelchair but now I was back in. Seemed odd until I saw things come together.  Until I performed a duet with a gorgeous man totally into our dance.  The dance had more to do with how we engaged with one another than the fact that he could leap across the room and I could only roll or limp.  And yet that meant something too.   We wore masks in this particular dance and I couldn't see well without my glasses. But I could see him.  The look in his eyes were that I mattered and this was important stuff.