REALLY, NO... I GET IT!

   My dad used to repeat the same thing to get his point across.  He got mad because we would use a glass and leave it on the front of the counter.  I get that part… then he would say, “Front counter people…. Front counter people… Front counter people"

   Once my brother and I were in the back seat of the car while my father was driving and my mother was in the passenger seat.   My brother decided to hit the button on my seatbelt, so it came undone.  It would snap and it made a loud noise.  He did this more than once.  Finally my father said, “I can’t concentrate on driving with those assholes in the back seat.  Assholes!.... Assholes!  (then one more for good measure)  ASSHOLES!

    When my dad died I went to the post office to get his mail.  I was told by the young clerk that I needed “power of attorney.”  I explained I lost that after he died.   I showed her all the papers, etc…including his death certificate.  She said “Power of Attorney .”  Every time I opened my mouth to speak she would interrupt and say, “Power of Attorney.”, like a robot.  I decided to go another day and got someone different and got his mail.  (Power of me.)

     I worked at a telemarketing company for five years .  I solicited funds from businesses for Mothers Against Drunk Driving.  Usually, about once a week, I would say I was calling on behalf of MADD and someone would say, “I’m a member of DAMM.  Drunks Against Mad Mothers.”  Every FUCKING week….

    When I was a clown for kid’s parties, I never used my crutch, because I had so much to carry… Unfortunately, I waddle without my crutch.  A few times, one of the parents would watch me and say, “Walk this way.”, and then imitate how I walk… and then explain the joke…. And then laugh…….

    When I was a secretary in an emergency room, I was usually the first person you saw.  When the emergency was severe, the nurses and doctors would waste no time and start working on the patient.  When people came in for something like a cut finger, I would have to get all their information first.  About once a week, someone would say, “Now if I was having a heart attack, would you be asking me these questions?”  Finally, I started saying, “Yes… yes I would.”