Friday, July 22, 2011

FUNNY STUFF MY FRIEND BARBARA HAS SAID

 
       Once Barbara asked me, “When someone dies, why do people say, ‘He died?  I just saw him!’, like seeing you should be a reason for them to live.”
     Barbara had difficult issues with her mother.  They had very little in common.  When she died, the rabbi doing the eulogy asked her what her mother’s hobbies were and Barbara said, “Dusting.” 
     She enjoyed doing community theatre alot.  One play I was in was so stressful that I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She said, “You should be like me.  Take a small part, learn your lines and get laid.”.
     My father had gall bladder surgery in 1993 and they saw a spot on his chest x-ray the size of a dime..Once surgery was done, they were going to do some tests to find out what it was…I called her very scared and said, “maybe it’s…….. maybe it’s….” and Barbara said, “Maybe it’s a dime..”
     Years ago, her outgoing message on her answering machine was extremely funny.  I have no recollection what it was, but it made me laugh every time I called.  The man she was dating back then said, "Well it was funny once."  After she shared his critique with me, she said, "So's a limp dick." 
     One day she said, "What if Sleeping Beauty was cremated?"
     


      
    

3 comments:

  1. You two must be hell on wheels together.

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  2. What a friend to have. Someone who puts everything in perspective. It's so easy to go into a diz. To develop tunnel vision. To bounce like a ball bearing in the pin ball machine. Our minds going round and round. But a friend like that--with a few words--makes the world seem sane again.
    I'm glad for you. Peace, Dee

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  3. I love that. "Maybe it's a dime . . . "

    (Why are spots on our internal organs so often described in terms of coins? And tumors or growths - the 3-D invaders - in terms of either fruit or sports stuff? A tumor the size of a grapefruit, a growth the size of a golf ball . . . )

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