JOYCE AND CAROLYN

  I love getting my haircut.. Something funny is usually said by someone … Either the beauticians or their clients… My cousin Joyce used to cut my hair at her house along with a bunch of women on Friday nights.  They were all friends of hers and she cut hair in her basement.  One woman was talking about her back being in bad shape.  She said she took a bunch of aspirin.  It was a ridiculous amount.  Every woman in the room gasped and told her how bad that was for her.  She yelled, “When you’re in that much pain, you’ll do anything!!!  If I thought sitting in a bucket of shit would help, I would do it!”

    When Joyce worked at a beauty parlor, she would charge me very little.  The first time it happened I said, “Oh my God, that’s so cheap, is that ok?”  She turned to see if anyone was looking and then she said, “Fuck her.”  “Her” was the boss.   One time she was cutting my hair at her house, and a friend of hers was talking.  It was just the three of us.

“Joyce.  Mary got her hair cut.” 

“Oh really?” 

“Guess how she got it cut.”  There was long pause.  A wedge.” 

“A what?” 

“A wedge.  You’re her God Joyce.”

Apparently, Mary got her hair cut the way Joyce did.  And I guess it was a scandal.

  Yesterday, I got my hair cut down the street.  It reminds me of the beauty parlor in Steele Magnolias.  It’s very small.  I have known two women that have worked there since I was a teenager.  My brother used to work with them.  Carolyn has always helped other people out ever since I can remember knowing her.  When a local firefighter was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease and Carolyn had her own shop, she took all the money that the shop made in one day, and donated it to help pay his medical bills.  Yesterday, she was talking about a nonprofit organization that she and her friends started called “The Swine Sisters.”   She said they call themselves that because when they were vacationing in a log home and one couldn’t stop eating, they called her a swine.  When they got home, she found out she was pregnant and was eating for two.  She said that they raise funds to help people in the community who need it.  One single mom had adopted some children and suddenly lost her job, so they raised money to help her out.  They have done other things like help people with medical bills, etc.  She said before and after every meeting, they snort like pigs.  The Swine Sisters.