EASTER SUNDAY

     I am never quite clear on whether I am babying myself or really in as much pain as I think.  Monday and Tuesday of last week, I got a great deal done.  Personal stuff like making sure my meds were being sent to the right address.  Last time, they had the wrong address and I had no meds.  On Tuesday I completed as much as I could regarding getting work.  I then realized I hadn’t done my exercises and did them about 8:30 at night.  After my exercises for my hip, I walked from one end of the house to the other and was so excited.  I love walking outside, but this was much easier and so back and forth I went.  Suddenly I stopped myself.  So many times, I get so excited when I exercise that I overdo, so I stopped.   When I got up the next morning I was in great pain.  My back, nothing else.  I knew I went too far the night before.  The only thing that works in these “overdone” times is sleep.  The exhaustion is overwhelming and I sleep.  So Wednesday, I slept most of the day.  On Thursday I figured all was well, so I did a few things and quickly realized I was still in bad shape… and it went on.  It was maddening and I kept trying to think what I could do besides ice and stretching if possible and rest.  I felt like it was time so wasted and could I at least write.  So I sat at my computer and tried to write.  I found that exhausting and couldn’t concentrate.  I took a short drive, breathed and yes, I prayed.  I asked for some strength and mostly, some courage.  By Saturday, I was much better and took myself to a movie.  And then yesterday, it was gone.  I believe there are reasons for everything.  And there’s a lesson to be learned from the tough stuff in our lives.  I also believe that everybody has trials, not just me.  So, on Easter Sunday it was gone.  I think the gift in all this, is that delightful peaceful gentle feeling when the pain is lifted… That was my wonderful miraculous Easter gift. 

HELL HATH NO FURY.....

      I was in the 6^th grade.  He wasn’t the guy I REALLY liked but I convinced myself this was the man for me.  He sat in front of me and we exchanged notes.  I went too far with my notes.  In the 5^thgrade I wrote a note to Peter Celmer.  On the outside of it I wrote, “Please answer or someone’s heart will break.” It had a lot of hearts on it.  When he asked if I wrote it, I said “No.”  He ripped it up and was incredible relieved.  But this time I think it started with, “Who do you like?”  I believe he asked first.  This went on and on.  “Is there anything you don’t like about me?”, I wrote.. He showed it to Terry in front of him and she turned around and looked at me and said, “Christine!!!” He didn’t answer except with a “No”.  When I finally asked if he liked me, he wrote, “Yes.” all over the paper.  It looked like “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.”   He pointed out that I needed to stop writing him notes as we were supposed to do our assignment.  I said to myself “This is love and more important than the ASSIGNMENT. " So, it was on.  I told my best friend at the time and I don’t know if it interested her very much.  He said he would call and over the weekend he did.  I told my parents and brothers about my boyfriend.  That was the best.  I got to tell them that this guy “LIKED ME”.   When he called he asked what I wanted to talk about and I said, “Have you read any good books lately?”  After this two minute phone chat, we hung up and I immediately called my friend.  Then the extent of our relationship was writing notes.   One girl who also liked him stood in front of me before we walked in the school one morning.  We had to stand in line until the teachers let us in.  She made fun of me from time to time.  Today she took my purse and went through it.  I didn’t stop her and acted like it didn’t bother me until she got to the compartment where the note was.  Those notes were gold.  We folded them in a way that made them look like a package in the shape of a triangle. It was what I sweated the night before, so I got the purse back before she saw it.She would have read it and showed it to everyone.  Dodged that bullet.  Around that time, the kids in our class changed the seating and the timid teacher let us.  We were in two semi circles.  The teacher could see everything we did with this set up. Almost everything. Everyone sat very close to one another.  My lover was further away.  And then it happened.  One of the real popular girls walked over to me and held up the note he had written her.  “Tell Christine I don’t like her anymore.”  It was over.  And why was everyone calling me, “Christine”? The popular girl seemed so disinterested when she showed me the note.  The bully later said something about us being together and I said I wasn’t.  “Then why did you write him all those notes?”  My father and I saw him walking by our house and I said something to the effect that I didn’t like him anymore.  My father wasn’t buying it.  “Well, you certainly liked him before!!”  My father did not like it that I was brushing my hair more and trying to look as good as I could.  “I know why you’re doing that.  It’s that guy you like.”  My brothers teased me about him and I wished that I hadn’t told my family or friends and could have done this on my own.  But I hadn’t.  I was 11 years old and no man in my life.  I needed revenge.  There was no way I could do anything without the teacher seeing us in our semi circles.  So, I took the spring out of my pen and waited until the teacher didn’t see.  My ex was in front of me and to the right..  Everyone’s head was down working on something.  I couldn’t let them see… BULLSEYE.  I pinched the little spring on both ends and let it go.  It got him in the back.  I kept my head down and I could see out of my peripheral vision that he felt it and turned around and never knew it was me.  I didn’t tell anyone.  There was no drama.  It was over.  Ahh….