HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

     It’s hard for me to write anything about Father’s Day.  My father is dead and we didn’t have a great relationship.  I’ve gotten to meet many great fathers.  And had so many men that were a father to me at various times.  I had an uncle who was always happy to see me.  As a little girl, he helped me feel so important.  He’d always go, “Hi Hon!” and then he’d grab me and hug me SO hard.  He talked to me a lot about how I was doing and would laugh at all my goofy jokes.  I heard him say to my father when I was in a different room, “If I had a little girl like that, I would be so happy.”  My father said, “She’s great except for her mouth.” One of my friends in high school had the gentlest of fathers.  He spoke with a lisp and was just very sweet. He was always with a smile whenever I saw him.  He talked to my parents about me a lot and how funny I was.  One of the neighborhood dads helped me and his daughter make a putt putt course in their back yard.  They had a beautiful yard with a creek in the back.  Me and my friend somehow made a course for the other kids to play and of course charged a quarter or something.  Her father made the flags to put on each hole with a stick.  It was very cool.  I think the best dad I met was my brother.  Never quite saw anyone as hands on without hovering, than him.  He said to me that his boys are the best people he knows.  I agree.  I only see my two nephews once a year and talk to them long distance.  But they are spectacular people.  And I am totally biased.  The little guy, Harry, is thirteen.  Very bright and very funny.  His teachers all love him.  His big thing now is cooking and baking.  He had to do a project in French class making a video and narrating it in French.  So he video taped himself making banana bread.  He was very concerned about my surgery this year and talked to me a little.  He explained that I would be ok.  He takes ballroom dancing and loves it.  He has to wear a suit.  His mom said she saw the last class and he looked so cute.  Many of the girls are so much taller than he is and he doesn’t care.  The big guy, Leo has been doing remarkably well.  He had brain surgery almost two years ago and did better than they expected.  He is sixteen.  He is very much into his music like my brother was.  He plays guitar at coffee houses with his friend.  He does well in school and got a job when he was 15 busing tables at a restaurant.  He loves sports to the point of obsession and last I heard, he wanted to be a sports announcer.  For a while he was writing for 2 football fantasy websites.  I read his stuff.  He’s quite good although I pay very little attention to sports. 

   I try not to complain about my Dad too much.  He did the best he could with what he had and that wasn’t much.  However, he was a wonderful grandfather.  I understand that that’s how it goes with many people.  They can’t parent well, but they can grandparent extremely well.  He only met my older nephew and died when he was two.  He spent as much time as he could with him.  They played together a lot.  I watched my dad showing him how to hold a golf club and he shared later with me and my mother that he would cut down his clubs so that my nephew could play.  He took him for many walks and he told me he couldn’t get over how beautiful he was. He said, "Not just his looks, there is something so beautiful about him."  I do have gratitude that many fathers picked up the slack for him and helped me along my growing up phase.  I am grateful that my brother had these great boys that I get to be aunt to.  I am grateful I get to watch parents with their children and watch this miracle of growing up happen.  I think they put Father’s Day and Mother’s Day at the end of the school year, because the parents have accomplished as much as the kids.