EASY

  I was very upset this week.  I had started a fire in my kitchen..  I was in the living room, smelled something and checked the stove.  It was not on.  I came back in the living room and before I knew it, smoked poured in.  I thought a neighbor had started a fire. I called  911. They started to chop down a door in the apartment below until the one found out where it was coming from and put it out very fast.  I must have come home with my groceries, put them on the counter and hit the switch to the toaster oven.  A plastic container on top started to melt and then caught fire to the toilet paper I just bought.   My neighbors called my landlord.  He was not happy.  I flew into guilt for this mistake, so I took out a piece of paper, and wrote, "What do I do now?"  I breathed deep and came up with this.

1.  STOP WORRYING
2.  STOP THE GUILT
3.  GET OFF YOUR ASS.

  Sounds pretty simplistic, doesn't it?  Just stop it.  So I did.   The "get off your ass." part...  It is so easy for me to fly so deeply into guilt that my body falls apart.  The pain in my back increases to the point of incredible exhaustion.  So I took myself out to walk... I cleaned up the place trying to get rid of the smoke smell and I broke that pattern of automatic guilt for a second.  It's too easy to feel bad and I just stopped.  If I tell certain friends I did this, I will be made fun of.  So I didn't.