GARDENS

    When I was very young, around 10, I would say all the “things”, I heard adults say.  I think that is normal.  One of the things I would say was, “Well, if you ask me…”, and then I would say whatever.  My father’s response was, “Who asked you?”  Nice.  Then another time, out of nowhere he said, “You don’t seem to understand that nobody asked you.” Although, my father was nasty and rude,  that is the truth… people are not necessarily asking for my opinion all the time.  So I bite my tongue very often and of course I still mess up.  I watched a close friend going down a dark road for several years.  She said such self deprecating words.  It broke my heart.  Finally, I asked something about her eating habits as she is diabetic, and she said in not so many words that it was none of my business.  It wasn’t/isn’t.  Now she is very sick, and it is STILL none of my business.  Cheryl Richardson asked Louise Hay how to be with a friend that may very well be dying, and Louise Hay said, “Love him.” I don’t know what my friend’s life is supposed to be like or why she is here.  My dear friend Michelle said that my friend’s soul knows exactly what it’s doing….In one of Wayne Dyers books he writes, “Cultivate your own garden.”  He goes on to say that we need to do our thing and stay out of everyone else’s garden.  I do my best but this one is hard.  I watched my mother sink into deep sadness with issues around my father.  I remember the last day she stopped over before getting really sick and dying.  She was so pale and it was as if her life had left her.  The sparkle I knew so well had left her eyes.  I asked her if she was ok and she said, “I’m okay honey, I’m just not wearing any lipstick.” I found out more "stuff" had happened with my dad.   People aren’t here to make sure Chris Vartorella gets all her needs met.  They have their own journeys and they are cultivating their gardens as best as they can....... …but if you ask me.... this sucks!