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 Last week, I got an email from a lady who finished writing a book about dance with a picture of me dancing in a wheelchair.  Two years ago, she asked me to submit any writings I had that she could put with the picture.…  She liked what I wrote. If it went into this book, it would be the first time I was ever published.  So she wanted me to see the finished product and we met last week.  The picture was lovely, and so is the book.  Meeting this writer was exciting.  She was very kind, but that writing I did was not in it.  It made sense as the writings in this book were more poetry than the kind of stuff I write but still, I was disappointed. So that was Monday. 

  I was certain I was destined for this next gig… Karen McCrocklin, hosts her own radio show on Hay House Radio… she is incredibly alive and funny and has great guests…She celebrates being gay and helps others come out…. She held a contest for a listener to interview her for an hour.  I couldn’t wait to enter.  She said she wasn’t sure how it would be done, but you get extra bonus points for calling in her show, so I called and got on.   She explains it would be random and her assistant would be handling it.  She said to send three questions that you will ask her.  I pondered this for a long time.  I asked what really moved her… what does she know for sure, and how did she learn to have such an open heart to everyone, not just the gay community…. After watching her on you tube and reading articles and interviews, she seemed like she was advocating for us all.  Not just the LGBT community.  I thought it would be an honor to talk with her.  I knew I could do this.  I get stage fright alot, but voice overs, radio, has been much easier for me. 

   There were over 200 entries and she announced the winners last week.  She decided last minute it would be two people.  It wasn’t me.  That was Wednesday.

   I feel like this is how life goes.  We can’t always get what we want but I was still bummed.  Then a facebook friend posts a video of Oprah talking about surrender and The Color Purple.  I heard this story a few times but this was more detailed.  It was great.  She said she had to let go of getting in that movie, even though it was all she wanted.  And she wanted to be happy for the person who got the role she auditioned for…When she finally got that, the moment she understood that concept, she got a phone call from Steven Spielberg to come into his office the next day and he heard she was on a fat farm.."If you lose a pound, you could lose this part."  Of course, she got the part...                     

     About 30 years ago, a friend was moving to Los Angeles to become an actor.   Many of my friends are actors.  I see them in movies or television, but this one got me.  I was happy for her but sad I wasn’t going.  I prayed long and hard about this.  The answer I got was to be as happy for her as if it were me, if not more so.  This wasn’t the answer that I wanted.  I swear, God answers all my prayers, and the answer is usually “NO.”  One thing I noticed was I wrote more last week.  Posted a couple of pieces on this blog.  “What do you want me to do?”  is usually the question I ask God…. Still working on that one..