I think that I
have lied a great deal in my life. I
also think I’ve come clean on many things.
I was watching a friend lie about his degree to someone last year, and I
was surprised for some reason. I knew that he had a degree in something, but this
time, he embellished it some. Added more
letters to it. I was almost believing
him, he was so convincing. I didn’t say
a word. Once we were out to lunch, and
I smelled something foul. It took me a
minute and I realized he hadn’t bathed in a while. After not seeing him in many years, he told
me about how people can be kind no matter what they were going through and he
said even though he had been out all night once, he came home, took a shower
and went to work with a great attitude.
I was more excited about the shower than the attitude. This was not the
only self promoting that he did. He told
me he never got angry. I knew that wasn’t
true because he told me off more than once.
But I hung in there. Sometimes I
would run into a mutual friend of his and they would talk about how wonderful
he was. One woman said, “I’ve always had
a crush on him.” I thought, “Cool.
Maybe he’s changed." Then I saw
someone at the drug store I hadn’t seen in years that knew him and I asked if
she still kept in touch. She said,
“No.” She said she could not deal with
him anymore. Mostly, the bullshit. I said, “He sure has a lot of friends.”, and
she said, “Acquaintances.”
Last year, I went to a funeral for a friend’s
mom who died suddenly of a heart attack.
There were so many people there.
I was a little surprised because my friend’s mother was so harsh and
angry. She complained a great deal. Mostly about her children. Even my friend talked about how rude she was
to others. One of her friends sat next
to me at the church and we talked a little before the service. She told me it’s not the dead that suffer,
it’s the people they leave behind. I
thought, “I know.” Then she asked what
happened to me that I would need a crutch to walk and I told her I broke my
back and damaged the spinal cord so I am partially paralyzed. She said, “That’s from the spinal
injury!” Didn’t I just say that? She said it like it was a brand new theory
that nobody had thought of, but her. It was almost like she was explaining it to me like I didn't know. When
people got up and spoke at the funeral, my mouth dropped. You’d of thought my friend’s mother was the
Second Coming. What was I missing? Maybe they were all as “out to lunch” as the
friend that sat next to me.
I know we all have
different sides to us and they’re not all good or all bad, but sometimes I
question my instincts about people. Once a
friend got drunk and told me off for an hour, when I said that I thought she
was drunk. After a week or two, she told
me that I would have to realize that she was under a lot of stress. No apology at all. Whenever I saw her, she was drunk. I told another friend that I was done with her
and she said, “What are you going to do?!
Get rid of EVeryone?!” No, just lying, smelly, rude, drunken
assholes!
Several years ago, I
found a dentist that I liked a lot. I
needed a great deal of work done and he was very good. As time went on, things seemed weird. He had less of a staff working for him. He told me he was working on some screenplays
and got an agent to that would promote them. He
told me he had written some songs. I was
jealous. Pretty soon, more equipment he
had was gone and he was down to one other person working with him. Then he
needed to put a crown on one of my teeth.
I paid him and he put a temporary one on while the lab made a new one.
Then he called me and said he was leaving for Los Angeles and a new dentist would
take over. When I called to make the
appointment to put the final crown on my tooth, they wanted 1000 dollars. I explained that I already paid my old
dentist, and they said they knew nothing about it. I called the old dentist and he said things
were slow in the movie making business and when he had the money, he would pay
them to fix my crown. I kept calling
until he changed his number and the new dentist gave me his lawyer who said he
owed everyone money including the lab that he used and there was nothing I
could do except complain to the American Dental Association. That was 5 years ago. He has yet to come through. A friend lent me
the money and I paid her back. Teeth are
fixed, but I am out 1 grand.
I was out to dinner
with a friend not too long ago, and she asked if I had seen someone we both
knew. I said that he and his wife were
too hard to be around. She said, “Too
bad you’re not like me.” I wanted to
kill her. Then she said, “When I’m at
work, I don’t judge people.” She said she didn’t agree with something her boss did but she didn’t let it get to her. She said she read her Marianne Williamson book, said a prayer and went on with her day. I think saying, ‘Too bad you’re not like me.’
is a judgmental condescending statement to begin with. We don’t have as many choices
about who we work with. I don’t see this
woman too much either.
I am trusting my
gut more today. Asking for what I want,
and saying NO to whatever I choose. I'm glad I bailed from certain people even if others think it's wrong.
